I should have known as I was groaning on and on in my last post that something was a bit off. Turns out I'm a bit under the weather. Oof.
I've consumed a good amount of vitamin C (in both natural and supplemental forms) and I've drunk an ocean of tea with honey. We'll see how it goes.
I don't suddenly have much less to do and I don't suddenly have a much calmer view of life, but I'm definitely in a better place than I was last night. I finally slept. Then I woke up and worked a bit. Then I napped.
If I don't freak out about everything I have to do at some point, I realize that I have time for things like making meals with my kid, reading with my kid, getting outside with my kid. (Yes, there's a common thread here. I tend to freak out about work obligations and the rest of my life tends to suffer. I braided together those different bits of my life much better today than I did yesterday.)
So, although I'm not feeling in tip-top health and although I still had a good deal of work to get done today, Pic and I donned our snow shoes and we went out for a fifteen-minute walk (that really ended up being a twenty-five minute walk).
I had to persuade Pic to go with me, but I was actually the one insisting we get back home and eat lunch. She'd have liked to have stayed out longer, leaving hand prints in the snow and and throwing snowballs in the river.
It is amazing what some sleep, fresh air, sunshine, and exercise can do. Sometimes I just need to remind myself.
P.S. We got our first big snow of the season a couple of days ago. I figured I also really needed to get out into it a bit.
As is too often the case, it's beyond late and yet I'm awake. I'm tired, but awake.
I've struggled lately with what feels like too much. There's something off that I just haven't been able to shake. And then these last two weeks I have struggled more.
There's nothing big going on in my life. Stuff just feels emotionally heavy. I'm very slowly working on dealing with all of this stuff, but I continue to resist sleep and that helps nothing at all. Sometimes I'm tired, but there's work to be done, so I power through.
On Monday, though, I was too tired to make that happen. It's not that I went to sleep early, I just kind of checked out. I went to sleep around 1:15 in the morning only to be woken up half an hour later by a disoriented Pic who shortly thereafter commenced a night of vomiting.
Tuesday was a (short) work day. We had our first big snow of the season and I wanted nothing more than to have my family all safely tucked inside home. (I wanted this for everyone.) I did get home before dark and I was asleep by seven but awake again just before midnight. I was up until four and then asleep until almost afternoon.
So, yeah, to say that my rhythm is off is a bit of an understatement.
I keep looking at the rest of my week (and next week and the weeks following) and freaking out regarding the overwhelming amount of things to be done. Work, reading, writing, other work, projects, meetings, outings, holidays, travel. Cooking, cleaning, eating, sleeping.
I'm not sure how to get a handle on it all.
How do you get back on track?
How do you even get a moment to take a breath? Because this life thing just keeps chugging along, no?
Hmm...zzz. So tired.
I know, I know. One of the first steps is just turning the screen off and allowing myself to close my eyes. I'll do that in just one moment, I promise.
First, though, I can't leave all this mopey, groaning just hanging out in the universe.
So a bit of an upbeat note to end on? Definitely.
As Pic and I were running a quick errand today, she told me that along with her longtime career goal, she also wants to be "a great artist, like Bob Ross!" (Yes, she was very excited when she told me.)
Later today, after a good whack of sleep, I hope, maybe we'll head outside and get some pictures of the snow before it's gone.
One year ago today, we left home for nine months of travel as a family. Some of us are finished with that bit of adventure and some of us are not.
I'll eventually share snippets of our adventures, but for today I'm just commemorating.
P. S. Apparently it's been so long since I've added a picture to a post that I've forgotten how. Either that, or typepad is being unnecessarily uncooperative. And now my child is super squished, but I give up on messing with it for now.